- I have a 4 year old son and missed registering for summer camp.
- I wanted to give him the kind of summers I had as a kid in the 1990s.
- I give him less screen time and a lot more time outside.
I had a moment of respite when I realized I hadn’t signed up my 4-year-old for swim lessons and summer camp by the deadline. His daycare is closing for the summer, and while I’ll be able to care for him part-time, I panicked at the series of unstructured days that lay ahead. I felt a pang of guilt that my son would miss out on opportunities to develop his basic memory and critical skills, not to mention that I would have less free time to write and read the ever-growing pile of books on my nightstand.
But the other weekend, I watched my son play on an imaginary construction site in our backyard with the boys who live next door. Without any plans or devices, they spent the afternoon without a hitch—and I even managed to read a few chapters of my book while drinking iced coffee in the sunshine. We had frozen pizza for dinner, and he fell asleep without a fight, exhausted after a long day of playing outside.
It made me nostalgic for the magic of ’90s summers and made me think that maybe millennials have it all wrong. Maybe it’s not expensive vacations or a packed schedule of summer camps and Montessori-inspired programs that make a summer memorable. Maybe it’s about taking a cue from our parents and making room for more by doing less.
After that perfect afternoon, I wanted to give my son a taste of the kind of summers I had as a kid in the ’90s. If I let my mind wander to those long, lazy days, before the internet, summers were a time for riding bikes, drawing chalk on the sidewalk, making daisy chains and friendship bracelets, running through the sprinkler, and living on a diet of watermelon and ice cream.
The world looks a lot different now, but I plan to bring that spirit to our summer by subscribing to these philosophies.
I let him get bored
My TikTok algorithm gives me a daily feed of fun and educational activities to do at home with my son. Because I want the best for him (and because I just want some quiet time), I’ve tried several.
I usually get frustrated when the activity doesn’t go as planned and takes barely five minutes before moving on to the next step.
Instead of trying to fill every minute, I’m going to make room for boredom. As a child, it was during those long, boring summer afternoons that I developed my love of reading. I want my son to have the same opportunity to have fun starting from nothing and letting his imagination run wild.
Less screens, more time outdoors
While I’m not a screen-time freak, I plan to turn off the TV this summer and play in the backyard, get ice cream, swim in the public pool, and spend the day at the beach. I yell less when I’m outside parenting, and the fresh air does wonders for my son’s sleep and mood.
I won’t turn down evening screenings of ’90s summer classics like “The Sandlot,” “My Girl” and “Dazed and Confused” (when he’s asleep, of course), though.
I bring dinner to the lazy mom
My parents didn’t pack me organic lunches in fancy bento boxes, and I’ve done just fine. Summer seems like a good time to relax and take my kid’s diet a little easier. That doesn’t necessarily mean stuffing him with junk food, but I’ll prioritize playtime over making fussy dinners he probably won’t eat anyway. We might have cereal and peanut butter and jelly or a bowl of cherries, it won’t matter; he’ll just remember the summer his mom let him drink from a hose, dig for worms, and play outside for what seemed like forever.
Liz is a Canadian essayist who writes about motherhood and mental health. She lives in Vancouver with her husband and son. More information lizjhammond.com and @lizz__hammond.
