- Simen Platou and his wife, Jen, are raising two children — ages 1 and 3 — in Bali, Indonesia.
- Platou grew up in Norway and moved to the island in 2011.
- She said she drew on her own upbringing and Asian parenting styles to raise her children.
This narrated essay is based on a conversation with Simen Platou, a 38-year-old Norwegian living in Bali. He runs a Youtube Channel about family life on the island. This essay has been edited for length and clarity.
I met my wife, Jen, in Bali nine years ago.
She is of mixed Indonesian blood and just moved from Florida to Bali for a marketing internship. I has lived in Bali since February 2011
It was love at first sight, and after four years of dating, we decided to get married. Neither of us had any interest in leaving Bali. Our daughter Naia was born in 2021, and we welcomed our son Koji in November of the following year.
Now, I am learning to embrace both Asian and Western parenting styles when raising my children.
When I was growing up in Norway, my parents were strict but also easygoing. Norway has a low crime rate, and because it is a safe country, I had a lot of independence as a child.
At the age of 4 or 5, I left the house alone to walk around the neighborhood and meet my friends. We lived right next to a forest in Oslo and often played there in the afternoons.
Local children in Bali do that too, but it’s harder to get around Bali on foot.
There aren’t many proper sidewalks, and kids have to be careful with traffic. For now, my kids are too young to go out on their own.
I noticed that Asian families seemed closer
Here, parents often sleep with their children for long periods of time. In Norway, it is common to sleep train children and let them cry it out.
We tried it with our kids, but it just didn’t feel right. Now, even though we don’t sleep as much, we still sleep together as a family.
We are also close to our extended family, including my wife’s sister and mother, who live in Bali.
Even our nanny is part of our family. She has been there since my daughter was born. We try to raise our children with more of a community here than in the Western world.
My parents are also fully supportive of our choice. They still live in Norway, and have visited Bali three times.
But we try not to spoil our children too much.
I want my kids to be independent, and I want them to believe in themselves. Even though my daughter is three, I let her use scissors if she does it right.
I also want them to know that they are always loved. My wife and I tell our children that we love them very much. In Norway, parents show love but it is not common for them to express it out loud.
We try to raise our children in a multicultural home.
I only speak Norwegian with our children. Jen speaks to them in Norwegian. English. Our children speak Indonesian to Jen’s mother, as well as to our nanny and neighbors.
Sometimes I feel confused to communicate, because I am the only one who can speak Norwegian. Although my daughter understands everything, she answers me in English.
It would be easier to tell him everything in English, but if I’m consistent, I think he’ll start responding in Norwegian one day.
Growing up in Bali is like a bubble. Expat kids tend to go to international schools rather than local schools. Our kids have Balinese friends, but they will never fully be part of the local culture, with its strong customs and traditions.
I have lived here for 13 years, but I will always be considered a foreigner. I have Balinese friends, but because I am not part of everything that happens in this neighborhood with their ceremonies and cultural practices, I will always be considered an outsider.
Overall, I think it is easier to raise children here than in Norway.
That’s because you can afford help, like someone to clean the house or look after the kids. Our nanny helps us until 1pm every day.
We were able to do a lot of things we wouldn’t have done in Norway, like eating out more and ordering delivery more often.
Bali is a great place for kids to grow up. On weekends, we go to the beach or the playground. We also have friends who bring kids, so we often go to someone’s house and spend time together. There are no dark and cold winter months.
That is a high quality of life.
