- The Swype is a vape that features a Bluetooth-enabled touchscreen to mirror your phone.
- Finally, there’s a way to vape while still getting Instagram notifications!
- The future has arrived, and the flavor is “Ice Watermelon”.
I believe in progress. I am optimistic about technology. I believe technology can and will improve our lives, unlock human potential, and solve big problems.
So I thought I would love a vape that also doubles as a phone. I was wrong.
I first learned about Swype vape on social media, where some doctored screenshots of it went viral. (Sadly, no, the site can’t display Zillow.) It also appeared on Reddit’s r/dumbphone discussion board, which is for people looking to get away from the addictive glow of their smartphone screens.
I don’t vape, but I I addicted to my phone. Maybe I could replace one bad habit with another, or maybe I could do it more often — or something. I wasn’t really sure what my plan was other than the fact that I knew I had to have this device, and I immediately ordered it from a site called General Vape.
Now, a clear statement: Business Insider does not endorse vaping or starting to use a vape just because it seems funny to have a vape phone.
The Swype vape is a nicotine vape (not weed, in case you were wondering) and comes in a variety of flavors including Blue Raspberry, Gum Mint, Pina Colada, Pink Burst, and “Fucking Fab” (which is sadly sold out). I went with Watermelon Ice. (Samatha Cole of 404 Media also tried the Swype vape; we didn’t plan on this. Coincidentally, we both got the same flavor.)
These vapes cost around $20, come pre-filled, and are disposable. Yes, disposable phones.
Swype uses Bluetooth to connect to your phone.
Swype certainly gives the impression that you get what you pay for: a $20 disposable phone that also doubles as a vaporizer. It’s so poorly functional that you’re probably not used to seeing modern electronics, most of which tend to work as advertised.
First of all, it’s not technically a phone. It works by syncing with your phone via Bluetooth. You can’t actually take phone calls on it (it doesn’t have a speaker, microphone, or cellular connection). You can tap it to answer a call, but it will answer the call on your real phone.
The touchscreen displays notifications when you swipe up — I could see messages from Signal, news push alerts, X notifications, and texts. I have to admit, there’s something really thrilling about reading tweets on the side of the vape. (You can only see individual tweets that appear as notifications — you can’t scroll through your entire X feed.)
WearinOS app is very buggy
But none of that works. To set it up, you need to download an app to your phone called “WearinOS.” The app seems to be designed not for the Swype vape, but for some sort of wearable fitness tracker. (I forgot to mention: The Swype also has a built-in fitness tracker so you can track your outdoor cycling while you vape with Watermelon Ice juice.)
WearinOS is broken in weird and funny ways. There are elements of the app that, when you use your iPhone to configure them, just don’t fit on your iPhone’s screen — like the app isn’t formatted correctly. There are buttons that, when you tap them, nothing happens, like the one to check for firmware updates. The weather feature crashes the app every time.
And using the touchscreen on Swype itself is also very problematic. There are similar issues when trying to tap buttons that don’t seem to be tappable. Two video games are included with Swype, Aircraft Battle and 2048, which is a number tile game. However, 2048 doesn’t seem to work at all — you can’t tap any of the tiles. (Samantha Cole has had the same issue with this game, so it’s not just my device that’s having problems.)
Other elements don’t really work as you’d expect. For example, you might see X number of posts and iMessages, but in reality, I just get a mirror image of the push notifications I get on my phone: a news alert, a few social alerts, an iMessage, a Signal message, and even a push alert from the Target shopping app — all lumped together, and sometimes confusing to figure out which app a notification came from.
The biggest issue, though, is that Swype doesn’t seem to reliably update new messages. I’m not sure if this is due to a lost Bluetooth connection or some other issue. Notifications wouldn’t update for half a day, and I never figured out why or what finally fixed the problem.
It’s worth noting that “WearinOS” is listed in the Google App Store as owned by Shenzhen Communication Technology Co. To be clear: I did this for fun, and I wouldn’t recommend you do the same. (I’ve reached out to the China-based company for comment.)
Vaping experience
I’m not a vaper (I tried a Juul a few years ago), so my judgment on the actual vaping experience is limited. The Watermelon Ice smell was so strong the moment I opened the package; my editor was convinced she was high before anyone had even tried it. (I’m not sure that’s possible, but the smell WAS there.) [Editor’s note: It is possible!]
My first hit was accidentally too big. I tried to take a selfie to document my first puff, thinking I would look cool. However, I took it just as my face turned to shock and disgust with the watermelon spray.
My guess is that if you’re a casual vaper, this is probably fine. It contains 5% nicotine, has three puff strength levels, and claims to last up to 30,000 puffs.
But can it really replace your phone?
Tragically, for brain-damaged nicotine addicts, Swype won’t replace your phone.
Swype’s buggy nature means you can’t use it to replace or complement your phone properly. I have hope, though — if it worked a little better, I can imagine Swype could serve as a way to not have to look at your phone but still get important notifications.
For many of us, the temptation to use our phones—to check email or scroll through Instagram when you really meant to check text messages—is strong. I love the Apple Watch for this reason: I know I’ll get alerts about important things (calls and texts), but I can leave my phone in my bag or another room and not have to worry about constantly checking it.
People are feeling overwhelmed by their phones, looking for ways to reclaim some of their brain space and break the dopamine cycle of mindless scrolling. “Dumb phones” are becoming popular. The Light Phone, a $300 dumb phone that can only be used for calling and texting with no additional apps other than an alarm and calendar, has become a trend.
A friend of mine, frustrated with how distracted he was by his phone, swapped his iPhone for a Light Phone. He lasted two days before giving up and going back to his smartphone. “It’s impossible to be a human being without a smartphone,” he told me. (Business Insider’s Jordan Hart also only lasted a week with the Light Phone before he went back to the real world.)
Honestly, I think it’s time we started expecting more from our smartphones. Why? Can’t My iPhone also gives me a little bit of melon flavored nicotine? Tim Cook, you have to dream bigger.
