I’ve never considered myself a picky person.
But when Brent and I lived in Seattle before becoming nomads in late 2017, I also had my quirks.
I’ve always liked having a well-stocked kitchen. Brent used to use the “eat everything you have before you shop” method to control his weight, but it frustrated him.
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I liked certain brands of food, especially Ben & Jerry’s vegan mint chocolate cookie ice cream, I liked Adam’s Natural Crunchy Peanut Butter, and I liked everything from Trader Joe’s.
He was also picky about the gym he went to. He chose a well-lit location, not one that would lock him in the basement like the Mole Man. He also insisted on an upright exercise bike that wouldn’t strain his back.
Oh, I also loved the really nice bed. Brent called me “Princess The Pea” and he wasn’t wrong.
Well, I a bit It’s a little noisy.
But seven years of nomadism have changed me, and I think I’m a lot less cranky now. Not that it took me long to get here.
Our first nomad stay was at a co-living spot in Miami’s Little Havana neighborhood.
This is our gym:
There was No gym! Just a morning exercise class.
On the plus side, there was at least plenty of light, and even better, I thoroughly enjoyed the class and hardly missed riding the stationary bike.
Being the picky person I am, I found something even more troubling at our second stop, Birgu, Malta, where our house was basically a medieval castle and was very interesting.
But it was a rubbish dump. A stove that had never been cleaned? A mattress on the floor? And mosquitoes everywhere? Why was it there? mosquitoMalta literally has no natural bodies of fresh water.?
How can I groaned and groaned.
Then we moved to Matera in southern Italy for our third nomadic stay.
It was a communal life, and our little bed terribleAdditionally, despite the sweltering heat of July, our attic room had no air conditioning and was muggy, so we had to keep the windows open and listen to the loud noise from the gas station right next door all night long.
This is where I got totally fussy. The morning after the first night I was frantically trying to change my plane tickets on the phone, the only reason they didn’t was because we had prepaid for a month’s accommodations and there were no refunds and Brent insisted on waiting at least a few more days.
That was a good thing, because we ended up loving Matera and the people we met there, which led us to make the 72-hour rule to not be so quick to make travel decisions.
Our next stop on our wanderings was Bansko, Bulgaria, where our apartment caught fire, much to Brent’s chagrin.
Also, the only gym in town didn’t have the bike I wanted, and it was hot and dark. Hated I made sure to let Brent know that.
Over the next few years, I made less noise, but still made noise.
Once, when I house-sat in Hungary, the owner casually mentioned upon arrival that the kitchen tap wasn’t working, so I had to wash dishes in the bathtub for six weeks.
Leaving the kitchen without a sink was awful, but maybe that’s an exaggeration — it’s not like I was working 12-hour days in the fields.
Fast forward to 2024.
Brent and I have been living in Fethiye, Turkey for 6 weeks now and the only gym within walking distance is absolutely awful – almost worse than the gym in Bansko.
Even though it’s on the third floor of a commercial building, for some reason there’s very little light inside the store, and everything is painted black, making it even darker.
A quarter of the weight machines were broken, with broken pulleys, missing pins for adjusting the weights, and the seats and armrests split open, spilling out of their innards.
Did I mention there are holes in the walls and electrical wires coming out in various places?
Oh, not only is my stationary bike missing, the bike won’t even spin upon — All you can do is control the tension a little bit to make pedaling a little harder.
The thing is, these aren’t the things that bother me. all.
For one, I’m grateful for even having a gym, and during my month in Istanbul there was no gym nearby and nowhere else to work out.
More than that, I have changed. Now, look — The negative side.
Can I walk to the gym from my apartment here in Fethiye and get a decent workout? Yes, I can. So the rest is not that important.
I’ve learned to live without Adams Natural Crunch Peanut Butter, Trader Joe’s, and Ben & Jerry’s vegan ice cream. I’m lactose intolerant, but here in Fethiye, Any Dairy-free ice cream.
Meanwhile, street vendors sell dondurma, a fantastic edible ice cream made from goat’s milk.
Just across the block is the public market, which opens twice a week and sells fresh fruit and vegetables and a delicious variety of roasted nuts, olives and Turkish desserts. Method Tastier than any Trader Joe’s.
Living the nomadic lifestyle means having to put up with a fair number of crappy beds, and about half the time I end up buying at least new pillows, but what about the crappy bed itself?
Que sera sera. And there’s always a sofa.
What is different about me now? Why am I no longer such a cranky person?
Well, part of the reason is that these awful beds are in amazing places like Bangkok, Antwerp, and the Swiss Alps. But I’ve grown stronger.
Is it too hot? Too noisy? The gym is awful? The sink doesn’t work?
We are nomads, so whatever problems we have are by definition only temporary. This too shall pass.
And that’s what always happens: the experience fades from memory almost as soon as we’re gone, or the magic of time transforms it into a funny story.
As I get older, I start to value different things more.
A nice gym, you think you need? Much better off having one within walking distance of the Pirin Mountains in Bansko, or a tuk-tuk ride from Chinatown in Bangkok.
I remember how much I loved Trader Joe’s dried mangoes, but now that I’ve lived in Thailand, Vietnam and Malaysia and have access to real mangoes, Fresh I eat mangoes every day and have that amazing mango shake!
I also love discovering foods I’ve never tried before or even knew existed, like Macedonian ajvar, Georgian khinkali dumplings, and Vietnamese egg coffee.
That being said, I’m not perfect and I still get frustrated sometimes. Hated I’ll be staying in Novi Sad, Serbia in 2022, and I had no hesitation in letting the world know all the reasons why.
But for the most part, I think I see things more objectively, and honestly, I wish I had this understanding back when Brent and I lived in Seattle.
Long-term travel helps people understand their true priorities. For me, it helped me understand what is truly important to me.
Not caring so much has definitely made me a better traveler, and maybe a better person too.
Michael Jensen is a screenwriter, author, and one half of a traveling gay digital nomad couple. Subscribe to their free travel newsletter here.
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